There is no doubt that there will be pain and loss that comes with adoption. It unfortunately is inevitable. It is the beauty that can be found after and during this pain that makes adoption so beautiful. I once referred to adoption as beautifully heart-wrenching, and I still believe this to be an accurate description. When my son was born, I still remember feeling a great sense of conflict. I was so incredibly overjoyed at his birth, but I knew what was coming for his mom. While she was not able to parent and was sure of her choice to place, it in no way meant that she would not feel that pain. It is biologically wired into a mother to grieve her child when they are away. I can’t imagine that type of pain. When I try to, it is unbearable. 

The beauty of the sacrifice she made for her son, choosing to carry him, give him life, love him immensely, and the gift she had given us in choosing us to be his parents is what got us all through those first few days. It is still painful to think about the loss that occurred in those moments for both her and my son. We gained so much and they both had to sacrifice a life of “could have beens.” There is a phrase, “beauty from ashes” that I often think of in adoption. From their loss sprung our joy. From their pain sprung our decision that open adoption was the only choice, and it turned out to be one of beauty.

Choosing to have an open adoption was the best and most beautiful decision we have ever made. The joy on my daughter’s face when she gets to spend time with her siblings and birth family is worth every inconvenience or penny it may take. The more love we can give her in her life, the better! While loss is inevitable in adoption, there are so many ways to minimize that loss as much as possible through open adoption. My daughter is only two but understands very much that she simply has a large family and many people that love her. Her beautiful, intertwined family tree will be her everyday normal. She will know she is fiercely loved by many.

If you are unexpectedly pregnant, please consider adoption. Visit Adoption.com to view adoption profiles from hopeful adoptive parents. Visit Adoption.com/unplanned-pregnancy to find guidance with your unplanned pregnancy.

The post The Beauty of Adoption appeared first on Abortion Options | Abortion Facts, Articles, Side Affects.

One of the foremost reasons that I love adoption is because of its ability to provide love exponentially. Growing up, the examples of adoption I had seen in the media had always been closed adoptions. The idea to close the door to a birth family never made sense to me, even as a child. It may have been because my own grandmother was adopted and spent her life without information about her own birth family. She had a few names and dates but struggled with her identity. While closed adoption is the only option in some cases such as birth parent preference or for security reasons, it felt like an option for my family. I saw how much my grandmother longed to reunite and have the potential for love from her biological family. 

I love adoption because it no longer just creates new families but grows families. My son and daughter have two mothers and two fathers. They have countless siblings, aunts, uncles, and double the grandparents. While it may seem “abnormal” in some social circles, my kids adore their family. While they have different relationships with each member, they know families come in many forms. Our family has grown and continues to remain open. Why would we choose to take that opportunity for love from them and the opportunity for them to know from where they came. They not only know they have a birth family, they also know that they are overwhelmingly loved.

Adoption creates families, grows families, and joins families. I love adoption because it changed the entire course of our lives. It finds families for children. It also gives birth parents the opportunity to place their children in a loving home when they are not able to parent. The rising popularity and the ability for birth parents to choose openness in adoption has transformed adoption for the better. Adoption continues to be a life-giving option for all members of the adoption triad.

If you are unexpectedly pregnant, please consider adoption. Visit Adoption.com to view adoption profiles from hopeful adoptive parents. Visit Adoption.com/unplanned-pregnancy to find guidance with your unplanned pregnancy.

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1. This video captures a birth mom’s emotions as she prepares to place her son with a family to be adopted. It’s a firsthand account of this little boy’s full story. What a beautiful, powerful blessing to be able to hear the emotion, for this birth mother to explain why she made her decision, her wishes for his life, her hopes for her child.
2. This video touched me deeply. It shows the vast array of emotions involved in the triad. This baby boy is obviously loved so deeply by his birth mother and his adoptive parents. You can see how much the adoptive parents care for Dominique. She is so very real. The fear, joy, the heartbreak. The relief as she placed that precious boy in their arms. The strength this young woman has as she signs those forms, knowing she will never have rights to him again. A beautiful and heartbreaking story of love. 
3. This one touches me in many ways. To hear the ones affected the most talk about their slice of the story, it’s important. Hearing these chosen kids explain adoption and their story. It’s truly beautiful. And somewhat silly, too.
4. Foster care adoption is such a beautiful journey. Seeing this video where this boy is obviously so loved, so cherished. The amount of family and friends that turned out to witness his adoption finalization is a very beautiful journey. Beauty from ashes.
5. This last video is a beautiful story of how a young couple was called to adopt internationally. We often hear of adoption being a result of infertility. This young family was formed out of a calling, a calling that started in this young mother long before she and her husband met and married. It’s a compelling story for changing the world, one child at a time.

Happy adopting!

Are you considering adoption and want to give your child the best life possible? Let us help you find an adoptive family that you love. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.

Are you ready to pursue a domestic infant adoption? Click here to connect with a compassionate, experienced adoption professional who can help get you started on the journey of a lifetime.

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I loved my little baby. As young and unprepared as I was, I was still excited every time I felt the little life I made flutter and kick inside me. I loved her so much that I didn’t care when people stared at me and whispered about where the father might be. I wanted to be her mama with all my heart.

But that didn’t change the fact that her dad wasn’t around to help care for her. It didn’t change the fact that I was still a child myself. The desire to be a mother didn’t give me the money or maturity or time I would need to give her the best life I could.

So I had a decision to make. During my pregnancy I made a long list of all the reasons I wanted to parent my daughter. I wanted to be her best friend, to dress up in matching outfits, to tuck her in every night. I wanted to be there every day to watch my little love grow up.

And then I made a list of all the reasons to choose adoption. She would grow up with two parents who were in love and stable. She would never have to worry about whether she would eat or not. She’d have a mommy who could stay home with her full-time and give her all the attention she needed.

Finally, a list of reasons why I might abort. No one would have to know. I wouldn’t have to deal with being pregnant at 17. If I couldn’t parent, why should I ruin my body just so someone else could be a parent? Why should I deal with all the judgment?

The more I looked at my lists, the more I realized–the adoption list was the only one that truly benefited her. The other two were mostly about me and what I wanted. But it was my responsibility as a mother to do what was right for HER.

And so I found her a beautiful family. It broke my heart to place her after my pregnancy, but it would have broken my heart more to watch her torn between her parents in a custody battle, and even more to have never had the chance to give her life, to see her little smile and kiss her little cheeks. For me, adoption wasn’t easy–but it was worth it.

Now I see my birth daughter every few months, and I get pictures every week. She is thriving and happy with her life, and I am with mine. I’m going to school and living life, knowing that she is safe and cared for. Adoption was by far the best choice for the both of us.

Are you considering placing a child for adoption? Do you want more choices with your adoption plan? Do you want to regain more control in your life? Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98. We can help you put together an adoption plan that best meets your needs.

For more stories and guidance regarding unplanned pregnancy visit Adoption.com. Also visit Adoption.com to view adoption profiles of hopeful adoptive parents and families.

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1. Choosing adoption means you will never see the child again. Unless you and the adoptive parents agree on a completely closed adoption, this is not the case. 95% of adoptions today are open, varying in the level of contact you have. Some adoptive families see the birth parents very often. Others only see them a few times a year. Some just communicate through letters and pictures. The great thing is you can choose what kind of relationship you want to have.
2. Your child will hate you. As long as the adoptive parents explain the adoption properly, it’s not a given that your child will automatically hate you. Your child will know from childhood that they have a birth mom and dad and that for whatever reason (age, income, lifestyle choices) they could not be parents at the time he/she was born. The adoptive parents should explain that the child was placed in a new home as a loving decision. Sure, any child will form good or bad opinions about their parents, whether adoptive or biological, but the point is that growing up, if they hear positive things about their biological mom and dad, they will not fear them. If children grow up having a relationship with the birth parents, they will know who they are; they will know their heart and their intentions.
3. The adoptive parents don’t really care about you and just want a baby. Not true. Today, most adoptions are open and the adoptive parents not only expect contact, but want it as well. As a birth mom to the child, you are incredibly special to the adoptive couple. They also know it’s good for the child to know who you are.
4.  Birth mothers give their babies away to make their own lives easier. First, you didn’t give your baby away, you placed them in a situation that you couldn’t provide for them at that moment. Adoption is not the easy way out. It is a selfless thing to give birth to a child and then place your child in another home because you know it’s for the best. You will never forget your child or the pregnancy. In an open adoption, you will have contact with the adoptive family and child for the rest of your lives. It’s a new, unique relationship that can be beautiful, but can also be challenging. It may be hard for you to see your child and then say goodbye again each time you see them. You may miss your child. Certainly, these things don’t make life “easy” for you. Most birth mothers, however, say that getting a picture of their child can mean a world of difference. To know your child is well puts you at ease.
5. You can’t place a child that has been exposed to drugs or alcohol for adoption. There are all types of adoptive families. Some couples are open to adopting a child with health issues. In an agency adoption, adoptive couples are asked what specific things are okay and not okay with them, so then only the couples that match up with you and your child based on those criteria will have the chance to meet you. This is why it’s important to be honest with your agency because it will ensure you are matched with the right family.

Though there will always be exceptions to the things stated above, they are myths because people believe them to be common fact. This is not the case. Trust your gut, do your research, and you will know if adoption is right for you and your baby.

Kristin Anderson

Are you considering adoption and want to give your child the best life possible? Let us help you find an adoptive family that you love. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.

For more guidance with your unplanned pregnancy, visit Adoption.com. If you are considering adoption as an option with your pregnancy, visit Adoption.com to view adoption profiles.

The post 5 Myths About Choosing Adoption For Your Baby appeared first on Abortion Options | Abortion Facts, Articles, Side Affects.

1. 1. Your Rights Will Be Terminated

      After you give birth and the baby is placed with the adoptive family, there is a period of waiting before your parental rights are terminated. This period varies by state and can take several months, depending on where you live. Once the required time has passed, your rights as a parent to the child will be terminated, and you will not be able to make any decisions concerning your child or have access to your child unless the adoptive parent allows.
      Many women don’t realize that things aren’t final just because they have placed their child with an adoptive family. If circumstances change or you just don’t feel right about your decision, you can legally change your mind in certain circumstances.

   2. The Adoption Finalization Will Occur

      Once you have placed your child for adoption, it will take some time for the adoption to be finalized. After the termination of rights, the adoption of the child will move forward and a court date set. The adoptive parents and the child will appear before a judge who will approve the adoption.
      All papers regarding the child and pre-adoptive information will be sealed. It will be difficult to access these documents without a court order.

   3. You Will Grieve For Your Child

      Even if you know that placing your child is the best for you and for them, you will still experience feelings of loss. You will grieve just as a mother with a stillborn or miscarriage. The emotions may come right away or it may take weeks, months, or even years before you complete the grief process.
      You can expect to feel anger, denial, hurt, guilt, and even relief as you go through this process before you reach acceptance. Adoption is a lifelong decision, one you cannot take back once it’s completed. The feelings may also impact you for the rest of your life.

   4. You Will Be Able To Receive Counseling

      You can find a therapist or program that will help you deal with the loss of your child once you place him or her for adoption. In fact, it’s a good idea to have the name of a place even before you reach this point. Look for a therapist or center that specializes in adoption counseling. They will be able to understand your situation and offer methods to deal with the emotions you’re going to experience.

Choosing adoption for your child is a noble, selfless choice when you cannot give them a home. However, it’s not without consequences to you. You should be prepared for what will happen once your child has been placed for adoption so that you can move forward.

by Joyce Morse

Are you considering placing a child for adoption? Not sure what to do next? First, know that you are not alone. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98 to speak to one of our Options Counselors to get compassionate, nonjudgmental support. We are here to assist you in any way we can.

For help and guidance regarding alternatives to abortion, visit Adoption.com. Connect with others through discussions and forums at Adoption.com/forums.

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